Truly bad writing

I woke up in my comfortable chair
Drank some coffee, and I wished you were there
But I don't even know who you are
I've been content to wait and see if you appear
It's nothing to pretend that I'm alright

Another day without you
Another night alone
I'm waiting for the day I find you
Waiting when I get home
Another week it passes
Months turn into a year
If I'd get off my ass
I might run into you out there

It's easier to wait here
Pretend that no one cares
I claim I'm being patient
It's hard to say I'm scared

Another day without you
Another night alone
Another week it passes
With me waiting by the phone
The silence watches with me
As no one makes the call
But no one is exactly who
I expected all along

Utterly Uninspired

I need to break this cycle

Of longing for what's lost

Or worse, of longing for what's never been

I hate the way it makes me

Though sometimes it leads to good

When I turn it into words for you to read

I know this thought is scattered

As I'm writing to you now

No rhymes or punctuation to latch onto

The meter fluctuates

But for the most part remains steady

And the message could be best described as "lame"

But to me it's always worth it

When I finish what I start

Though I usually can't make it past a week

When I'm writing every day

I eventually spark

An idea that's worth sharing with the world

And so I keep on writing

Even when I'm not inspired

And hope that you'll forgive me in the long run

Farewell Juliette

"Come with me," she said, as she was walking backward through the crowd, somehow managing to avoid bumping into anyone. She pulled on my arm as I reluctantly followed. Once we were outside, she repeated the plea.

"Come with me. I've always wanted to do this, just walk away from everything and everyone and start over." I just kept staring at her, and the only thought going through my head was that she had never looked more beautiful than she did right now. I don't know if it was the street lamp's reflection in her eyes, or maybe just the fact that I knew this was the last time I would see her. Girls always look the most beautiful right before they walk out of my life. I should probably talk to someone about why that is, but in that moment, all I could do was stare.

She took my silence as encouragement to try harder. "Come on, it's not like you have anything to stay for. You work from home. All you need is a wifi connection. We could find the most boring place in America."

She had this notion that when an area was deemed boring, that's only because it was covered up in secrets and hidden excitement, and so anything mundane became something she fixated on. I had tried to talk her out of this, but the trouble was that she was right more often than not, and eventually I got tired of being proven wrong, and gave up trying. I think to some degree she actually convinced me. At any rate, my pulse had quickened just at the thought of running away.

She wasn't wrong. I had no ties to this town. I mean, I had a couple of friends, but they weren't close, and with social media, I could talk to them just as much as I did now from anywhere in the country. I was almost ready to jump in the car with her, but there was something holding me back. I wasn't sure what it was at the time, but now I know it was just my old friends fear and indecision. They've stuck with me longer than anyone else has, through good times and bad, no matter where I go. I couldn't just bail on them now.

So like I said before, that was the last time I saw Juliette. Like her namesake, we were just too different to ever really make it together, or maybe that's just what I told myself.

In the morning, when I wake

My lips still taste of your name

As if through the night that's all that they desire

To speak of you in wonderment

To speak of you at all

My ears they plead with longing for to hear

My eyes are hardly open

Before restless they become

Searching left and right for just a glimpse

With all my senses longing

I can hardly even bear it

When there's nothing I can do to satisfy

This trembling in my hands, and ever wondering

Wondering why

Wasting Time

Sometimes, when I'm alone, I think of you.

Sometimes, when I'm alone, I wonder what could be

If I had only had the sense to try

Despite the hardships faced

If I had only had the guts to take a chance

Would we still be together?

Would I break your heart the same?

There's no answer to these questions

No resolve

Will I find another like you?

Will she just remind me of you?

Is there any way to keep you off my mind?

Am I still the only one who's wasting time?

I'm Setting My Clocks Forward

Desperate to find
Wondering if I'm just not
Cut out for this type of thing
Losing my mind
Losing is my way of
Getting through life without pain
If you expect it, you're never wrong
And hope's just dreams
In the night we are who we want
'Til the morning
Reminding me that
You closed the door on me
I may be unkind
And maybe you'll find
I'm just not quite prepared to let go
Feelings will fade in time
But time's too slow

Mid-Night nonsense

It's nearly 1AM and I can't sleep. I know I've been ignoring this for quite some time. I think it's about time I come back. We'll see how long it will last..

---

Fate is the same thing as destiny
Sorrow's just one word for pain
Regret is another, and I know it quite well
Like looking through a window at the rain as it falls
But the rain makes a sound as it's landing
A soft pitter-patter on hard cobbled stones
or a rat-a-tat-tat onto tin-covered homes
But a whisper on windows like mine, as it flows
Making paintings from landscapes like Vincent Van Gogh
But the beauty is lost to my eyes
The world is the territory that lies behind
Where you linger in thoughts I've forgotten
Like a dream where you wake up too soon
Though the memory is there, it's like grasping at air
So I sit here and stare at the rain.