So, I missed yesterday due to being on date. I consider this an acceptable excuse. Now, we resume:

"Was I wrong to call him shallow? I mean, he was trying to help. It's just, you know?"
I honestly didn't know what to say, because any answer I gave would inevitably be the wrong one. If I called him shallow, she would just tell me I'm jealous. If I disagreed, she would get mad at me for that, too. I decided to dodge the question entirely.
"Well at least you got what you wanted in the end."
She always did. It was kind of amazing how often everyone and everything in Evelyn's world just sort of came together. Maybe that was what I found so maddening about her. Maybe it's what I fell in love with. Unfortunately, I couldn't have her, and I couldn't leave, so I just had to deal with it. "Things could always be worse," I would tell myself, or, "At least you didn't ruin the friendship."
That last one is a lie, but I haven't admitted it to myself yet. I can tell you all day about how my profession of love for her completely shattered our friendship, but in the back of my mind I still somehow feel like this is better than nothing. Hopefully one day I'll let go of that, but that day isn't coming any time soon. So here I am, avoiding any kind of real conversation, just hoping I can find a valid reason to leave, and go home, and wonder why I put myself through this. I already know what she's going to say when I finally do tell her I'm leaving.
"So when are we hanging out next?"
She asks me this so that when we don't hang out for two weeks until she needs a ride or someone to pay for her drinks, she can say, "Well I was the one who asked you first. It's not my fault we never see each other."
I guess it isn't so bad, really. I mean, without her, I would just be sitting at home, staring at my computer screen, hitting refresh about every 45 seconds or so, waiting for something new to pop up. My mom thinks it's great that I have a friend, and my dad thinks it's great that she's a girl. My brother's jealous because she's attractive. Maybe we really will get together soon. I mean, she seemed sincere about it when I left. Maybe it's not as bad as I think it is. Maybe all that was just me getting into my own head too much. I guess we'll just have to see.