I used to be so sure
Now I don't know anything
I'm not even comfortable in my own company anymore
It was never like that in the past.

I have better friends now than I have for most of my adult life. I have people who genuinely care about me, and want me to find happiness, to grow, to mature. People who I can lean on, and confide in. I think I've just hit a new place in my life, and I feel like I ought to be somewhere else. Physical location is a big issue. I need to find a new apartment, but I don't know how I'm going to pay for it.

Love is a serious four letter word right now. Like, romantic love. I've got all kinds of love for my friends and the people around me. I get frustrated sometimes, but I can't really think of anyone in my life at the moment that I look at and say, "I can't stand that guy." Maybe one, but even in that case, it's not that I can't stand the person, more that the person is a bit much sometimes, and I think we've all been there.

I pray a lot lately, and this one thing the most: God, teach me to trust  you. It's on a sticky note in my wallet, and it has slowly been changing my life. As emotional as this rant may be, it's not even coming from a place of despair or hurt. More from a place of confusion, because I can't see what's happening. I don't know how to move forward. I barely know how to put one foot in front of the other. I have a lot going on in my life, and I feel like I'm not ready for any of it. But God will pull me through. Of that I'm sure.

I guess that's all for now. This isn't really what I do on here, but tonight I guess it is.